Elephant seals take over Macca

Slug life

This is a magical time to be on Macca. The wildlife is starting to ‘go off’. My favourite creature in this other-worldly ‘David Attenborough’ meets ‘Jurassic Park’ meets the ‘Muppets Show’ place, by far, is the ‘SLUG’.

Now slugs, for the uninitiated, are what I call elephant seals. I have named them for their distinct similarity to your regular garden slug (especially from a distance). The only difference being up to 3 tonnes and a heck of a large proboscis (that means nose, thank you very much…)

Ever the evolutionist, it cracks me up to think that some of these mega 3 tonne slugs, aka ‘beachmasters’, have in fact evolved to look this way (as can be seen in our photo ‘Mega slug with big proboscis") as opposed to being created in a Jim Henson muppet studio.

But to prove they haven’t, we, the lucky human inhabitants of Macca (Macaroons) get to witness the whole lifecycle, that I will call ‘slug life’, (‘I didn’t choose this slug life, the slug life chose me’) play out before our very eyes.

Yes, this is where the David Attenborough part kicks in.

First to arrive are the 'big boys', aka beachmasters. Their role is to own a prime piece of beachfront real estate to wow the ladies, then when the time is right, get ‘jiggy wit ‘em’. They arrive Gallipoli style, then wait..... for said ladies.

Next up are the ladies. These much smaller slugs arrive bustlingly pregnant and desirous of real estate anywhere that offers up a terra-firma birthing suite.

Luckily for us Macaroons, our bit of 34km long terra firma is some of the only land, apart from the bottom of South America, that is above sea level at this latitude… sweet!

Finally, please welcome the glorious, big-eyed, fluffy, black-furred ‘slug baby’. A creature we would all like to bring into the mess and curl up with on the couch. It is hard to believe that these beauties may one day turn into behemoths.

Finally, to prove that all these creatures are not created in a muppet studio, we then get to witness the final act of the play known as ‘The friendly flipper’. Best left to one’s imagination, let’s just say it is a stunning part of the life cycle of the elephant slug to witness. Not that anyone witnesses this… of course not... we wouldn’t stand around and do that!

I have missed one last chapter to this slug-cycle, known as ‘My life as a weaner’, but that can be somebody else’s story to tell.

Till then slugs, I wish to thank you for choosing this wee island to do your life cycle on, and in the immortal words of Billy Joel ‘I love you just the way you are’.

Billy aka ‘slug enthusiast’ and your friendly neighbood Macca crew.