Smooth Operators: Episode 17
The following is a transcript of a conversation that took place during episode 17 of Eastern Antarctica’s fourth most-downloaded podcast, “Smooth Operators”.
Host: BMW (boilermaker/welder) Cam Bennett & guest host Peter Laughton, former Davis PO (plant operator)
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Cam: Welcome back to another episode of Smooth Operators, brought to you by BelowPillows – they use only the softest of penguin feathers to stuff their pillows. Sleep like a King, and awaken feeling like an Emperor. Wide awake and sitting more than 8,000kms away in his comfy chair, is my friend, colleague and remote co-host, Mr Peter Laughton. Pete – Happy Deli Day, amigo – what’s going on with you?
Pete: Much ado about muffin, as usual. Spinning the wheels, but the bus is sort of going nowhere.
Cam: I don’t want to speak out of turn, Pete, but I certainly have mixed feelings about those rims you put on your bus. You said you didn’t want to come off as a pig’s ear, and yet you went and put those LED-backlit spinning rims on a 1998 Toyota Coaster?
Pete: You are
Cam: Huh?
Pete: (barely audible) You are speaking out of turn. I told you - in confidence, I might add - that I won those rims in a raffle and I was just going to see how they looked.
Cam: Apologies, old friend. I should explain to our listeners that Pete has been doing a camper-conversion to an old…
Pete: (interjects) Vintage…
Cam: Vintage! Sorry, it’s a vintage bus. Pete’s converting a vintage bus into a rainbow-powered, hashtag #vanlife mobile home.
Pete: Nah. I had to can the rainbow plans, mate. There was an accident in the leprechaun stables. Nothing reportable to the Irish authorities, but let’s just say I’m back to using diesel as a fuel again. But there’s just one thing I’m gonna have to correct you on, old friend.
Cam: And what’s that?
Pete: I presently live within a 15min Deliveroo range to a fantastic Thai place. I’m pretty sure that you’re the remote host, mate.
Cam: Centre gets the square… I think you’ve got me there, Pete. But you can get a pretty good feed at almost any of our nearest neighbours – Zhongshan or Bharati stations, specifically.
Pete: The people at Bharati station did make us an excellent lunch. Did you enjoy your trip to Zhongshan?
Cam: It was unreal. We got a beautiful nearly hour-long helicopter flight over the ice, then a nice lunch and a tour of the station. It was such a privilege to go and meet the neighbours. It was amazing to see how all the pieces of a different station fitted together… they had to solve for all the same environmental and engineering problems as we have here at Davis, and they’d done outwardly all the same things.
Pete: I got sent to Bharati for both my looks and diplomatic skills. How did you manage to get a ticket? Did someone lose a bet?
(laughs)
Cam: No, mate. I got lucky because of my connection to the emergency medical team.
Perte: Oh, Lay Surgical Assistant?
Cam: Yep, yep. This is my second stint as part of the lay surgical team and it was decided it would be beneficial if I accompanied Station Doctor Winnie as she exchanged some training and medical equipment with her counterpart at Zhongshan. I understand that it’s a regular thing between the two stations. What a lucky fellow I am!
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Pete: Whoever at the AAD that supported your application mustn’t know you at all, or be aware of all the hazards and risks boileys put themselves through!
Cam: (indignant) Hey! Haven’t been to the first aid kit all year.
Pete: Well, it has been almost a year. It’s nearly your time, old friend. I can see from my calendar that you probably don’t have too many years left.
Cam: (laughs) That’s funny because it’s true!
Pete: But, seriously – are you looking forward to getting home or are you hoping for one of those near-mythical season extensions?
Cam: End-of-season is a weird time. You’ve got to manage the sense of longing with a sense of inevitability. Here at Davis, we’ve recently come out of the long, dark night of winter, and the tempo and mood of the station is lifting and changing in response to the deadline that’s suddenly before us. I may be a mighty boilermaker, but that doesn’t mean I’m not human: of course I’d like a little bit longer. If I could have just a month of bushwalking between all the huts and camps here in the Vestfold Hills, I reckon I’d be feeling pretty replete!
Pete: Sore-footed, stick thin, and probably a bit smelly, but satisfied… yeah, I get it. The Vestfolds are a beautiful toehold on the edge of the Antarctic continent
Cam: Whilst we’re on the topic of end-of-season, I wanted to ask about how it was going home. What should myself and my fellow expeditioners be doing to prepare ourselves for returning to Australia. And before you answer, I should explain to our listeners that you came to Davis for the summer, and headed home on V3 in March.
Pete: Well, there’s a special bond between Antarctica and its people. It’s more than community, it’s really closer to a family.
Cam: You can’t pick them, but you gotta live with them, right?
Pete: That is undeniably true. So, it goes like this: you’re living in a share house with 60 people that you know intimately, and the only thing you crave is some privacy, quiet time, or even just a long shower. 48 hours after stepping off the RSV Nuyina, I’m back in central Queensland. My physical self is there, but it’s as though my soul is trying to catch up…
Cam: I’m picturing your spirit rowing a tiny ‘soul boat’ all the way from Antarctica through the southern ocean.
Pete: (musical) Row, row, row your boat…
(laughs)
Pete: Once you’ve gotten home, though, all you can think about is how much you want all those housemates around you again.
Cam: You’re so right. I think it’s the Antarctic cycle of life, man. Hakuna matata. Listen - a little birdy told me you might soon be sailing on the RSV Giant Red Science Canoe once again.
Pete: Damn your incessant FOI requests! Like anything in Antarctica, I must stress it hasn’t happened till it’s happened.
Cam: Listen, mate – the avant-garde jazz scene in Hobart hasn’t been the same since you left. I know for a fact they’re looking forward to getting their audience member back.
Dear listeners, this has been a whole ‘nother episode of Smooth Operators. I’d like to thank our sponsors BelowPillows, and Davis Custom Outdoor Gas Racks. Extra special thanks to my friend Pete Laughton for beaming in all the way from sunny and green Queensland. We love you. Byeeeee!
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