Macquarie Island – home of fine condiments
Do you like condiments? Do you like remote sub Antarctic Islands? If so, you are going to love Macquarie Island.
If you are reading this at home and considering applying for a unique and life-changing adventure, but put off by the perceived lack of condiments, then fear not, I am about to dispel the all too common myth that there are minimal condiments available in the sub-Antarctic.
My name is Keith and I am a proud lover of condiments. Prior to accepting the role as Technical Officer for the Bureau of Meteorology I had to think long and hard about going without my favourite condiments for 12 months. Little did I know that I would not have to do without because I've got condiments coming out of my eyeballs down here.
I remember the first couple of days arriving on station; what an eye-opening time. I have never been down south before, so this was all completely new to me. The resupply period was pretty hectic to say the least. The station is bursting at the seams with people and the noise in the mess is deafening sometimes. That's on top of being thrust into a strange environment with new people and strange animals dotted all over the place. To say I was apprehensive is an understatement. Sitting down in the mess for my first meal I couldn’t have been more out of my comfort zone. Then I took a second to look around and noticed all the condiment trays on every table. I was in saucy heaven, I nearly cried.
Hello Mr Barbeque sauce - nice to see you Sir Steak sauce. Oh Hi Lord Ketchup how are you? Oh my word it's not HP sauce is it? You're kidding me, they have HP sauce here, what an absolute game changer. I couldn’t have been happier. I didn’t know at that stage that waiting in the fridge was mango chutney, mint jelly and even fancy Japanese mayo.
This is all on top of the wonderful array of spreads on offer. Did someone say Nutella – check, Vegemite – here, Honey – yes please. What's that, can you speak up – its only blooming Marmite hidden at the back. Get in!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a bit of rugged scenery and the odd bit of wildlife but the true beauty of this wonderful isle is its fully stocked condiment trays. When I am an old man looking back on my life I will probably remember the millions of penguins, seals and birds, but you can bet your bottom dollar I will remember the sheer delight of having a bacon sandwich with both ketchup and HP sauce, whilst chatting to new found friends about the joys of mint jelly on lamb or mango chutney on a Korma.
Also don’t underestimate the role of condiments if the conversation is a bit lacking at meal times. There is no better conversation starter than pretending to choose a good condiment with your meal, when deep down you know exactly which one you are going for.
Not to mention the medicinal values of certain condiments when conventional supplies are running low. It is a little known fact that barbeque sauce is an excellent moisturiser and barrier cream when in the field. I have even seen smooth peanut butter used as an improvised wheel bearing grease.
So back to my opening point. If the thought of a lack of condiments is putting you off applying for a job down here, you have my word that it won't be a problem. I can personally recommend this place as a fantastic and life-changing place to work, and if you are lucky enough to get down here you will not regret it.
By Keith Ormesher - Met Tech
