Chef vs. Doc
9:00am (Yes, I know. 9am! Doctors don’t get out of bed real early down here!)
The monthly medical list goes up.
Doctor Chad in a previous article has painted me - the chef - as the “resident evil”, the temptation, leading the minions (food pun) astray. I prefer to think of myself as the angel of mercy, a provider of comfort food to these poor lost and lonely souls. In fact on several occasions I have heard the words “That mother of the evil doer!” when I have walked into the room - clearly a reference to my caring and nurturing ways!
But I digress. As Chad has pitched this as a battle of good against evil, then let the battle begin!
The Doc has been encouraging everybody on station to do something called “P90X”. What a sub-par Leyland car from the 70s has anything to do with exercise is beyond me, but hey, he is American! His goal is to get the total station weight down over the course of the year. My goal, however, is to give them dining experiences they will hopefully never forget.
Anyway everybody (well mostly everybody apart from a few stoic trenchermen) have been exercising madly and all feeling pretty good about themselves -until dinner time that is. Then the fun begins! You see, it is at dinnertime that they reveal their true nature, trough beasts all of them. Like Woo’s pigs in Deadwood, there is very little these guys won’t eat. Some like “Micky TWO Plates” and "Matty the Viking" have an inane propensity to consume everything in front of them. Some poor souls try and kid themselves with baby plates, only to pile them up to the point of overflowing.
"Oh that’s right! Today is your “cheat day” or day off from exercise." Sure it is. You just keep telling yourself that. Others often need a little more encouragement. Missing that “Tuesday night down at the pub parmy”??? Not a problem, I can fix that! How about a juicy rib fillet with a wild mushroom sauce? A Tassie scallop pie? Perhaps a crème brulee or rich chocolate fondant is more to your taste? Don’t be shy boys - you can have it all - and don’t forget seconds. I’m here to help.
On some rare occasions there is a triumph of will power brought on by a guilty glance in the mirror. Thankfully I have the never ending “chocolate genie” to fall back on. (See below)
Monthly medicals before Easter, what was the doc thinking? Hot cross bun anyone? How about a chocolate egg?